I am addicted to Owner's manuals

"biturboism, the cult" (biturboism) 09/06/2014 at 19:56 • Filed to: User's manual, owner's manual, car nerds

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As far as addictions go, at least this one is harmless and cheap (mostly free) albeit it must seem quite weird and downright sad for an outside observer.

Written car manuals I completely get; Apart from the occasional manga from some asian manufacturers, they are par for the course - good, honest use and service information. Also, from an engineer's point of view, it's always nice to see all the different dash, seat and engine options and how they all combine, what is shared and what is repurposed from the manufacturer's bin. Good times.

Then there are the video manuals which I've only recently discovered. Objectively, they have the production value of Brazzers - the acting, content delivery and transitions are painfully forced. They exist for the sole purpose of reaffirming your purchase decision, making you feel better about yourself - it's like porn, but it felates you, too.

So, as far as actual information is concerned, you'd be better off reading the paper version of the manual. But there is something deeply intriguing about watching grown people pretend to be interested in uninteresting automobiles purely for money, while following a script written by a lawyered-up marketing team who have ignored almost all petrolhead input from the actual engineers, apart from some buzz words. The result is a perverted microcosmos where they all work and care for you .

Also, treating nerdy stock cars like objects of lust is something I only knew about in general principle - until now:

I'm yet to buy a new car and my dad's company cars never came with stuff like this, so I wonder: Have you had these?

Share your nerdy owner's manual story below.

deekster_caddy > biturboism, the cult 09/06/2014 at 20:45

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I grew up in a house built in the late 1700s. There were diaries and old books in one of the cabinets. One of them was an owners manual from 1912, I wish I could remember what kind of car but the name wasn't something you typically hear...

Anyway my brother and I read it once in a while and always laughed at the Driving Tips pages in the back. The specific line I will never forget was in relation to steering: "Do not grasp the steering wheel as a drowning man would straw." (Translation: don't hold the steering wheel too tightly and relax a little)

deekster_caddy > biturboism, the cult 09/06/2014 at 20:47

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Story #2: Last year I bought a Chevy Volt, my first new car ever. I brought it home, brought all the books inside and read them cover to cover. Then went back to the car and figured my way through most of it. I have done this for every car I ever bought (that still had the manual).

biturboism, the cult > deekster_caddy 09/07/2014 at 03:21

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This. I enjoy this process, too. I will never understand the people who pay for all extras and never bother to learn about them all - I've heard "I've had the car for a year now and I'm still discovering new features" about a Passat...